sheila sells seashells at sutukil, 12th of july 2008
...the moment my head felt the heat and my skin damp from the humid air, adrenaline rushed through my system, considering i was lacking in sleep and suffering from back ache from dragging heavy luggages.
i was panting for an airconditioner or any semblance of a cold whiff. the man in the counter who was tasked to check my passport's validity and adrian's old unidentifiable photo on his, was clearly feeling the heat too.
but then again, the heat was nothing. it was droned by the busy buzz amongst a sea of happy strangers eager to meet waiting relatives .
i found my troop by the doorway to the arrivals lounge. mama wore purple, and the rest a smatter of khaki's and neutrals. ahhh, the faces of people i missed. my heart sang in jubilation and it didnt matter if my luggage went around 5x before i could finally fish it out of the carousel.
12th of july--i will remember that day, my heart sank when papa was not amongst the faces that eagerly waited for me. (but my consolation is he is watching and happy for me).
the plane arrived almost an hour late,which obviously had a dominoe effect to the day's itinerary. i skipped 3 scheduled activities out of the planned ones of the day, thinking i had to do the more practical stuff (i.e. buying groceries, and freshening up, and sorting out the pasalubongs from the box, and visiting papa's grave). besides, staying longer and eating without rush at "sutukil" was more important than anything else for the day. the rest will just have to wait.
have the urge to continually pinch myself until now that finally, months of waiting and anticipating this trip has come to its realization. but i wont be doing so for the meantime. i let the prickly heat on my neck do the pinching for me.
who ever have thought, one could welcome prickly heat as much as i do with much gratefulness?
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" live, love,laugh and loyalty, should be every person's lasting legacy"
--an afternoon spent worrrying silly, of silly worries--
i am in the middle of packing and sorting things out for my flight to cebu. i am sweating profusely and my chest is beating 2x its normal rhythm.
i am not even sure if its excitement, fear (?), or the normal sweat you get when the only exercise youve done in weeks is walking to and fro to the bedroom to arrange stuff, and the heartbeat is just there to denote that you're not used to any cardio activity whatsoever.
normally, my mind is racing back and forth about the worries an absolute worry-wart like me thinks of. but today, my only concern is whether i can find enough room in the already packed suitcase i have, considering, im still about to purchase another pair of swimwear my adiposed-packed body will be summoned to wear by my ever thickening face,and expanding bravado. and gladiator shoes have decided to come back in thick heels and platform soles, which can weigh a ton. trivial? try the list running through my mind today.
while some people probably are right now thinking where they are getting their next meal, or how much hospital bills are for their ill relative, i however, for the first time, in recent years have absolutely quashed away feelings of worry and thoughts of all the problems of the world. as my husband says, i worry too much on other people's concerns, some random stranger's midlife crises, and some distant acquaintance's bout of dengue, adrian said, he feels there are moments when i should stop worrying about them and think of myself. "it might lessen the wrinkles on your forehead". but not without a playful but reprimanding slap on his wrist. they're called, worry-lines, honey, wrinkles, noh uh.
the very reason why i am always runnning out of time doing my own things (and duties!), is because i have been engrossed calculating carbon footprints we give mother nature, or i sometimes am on the phone consoling some friend whose problems have been the same ever since weve met, and or, im writing a long extended morale-boosting letter of confidence to someone losing his. adrian thinks, i give myself out too much without leaving some for myself.
but how does one break a habit of a lifetime? i resolved to try today and be self-preserving and think of myself, only myself.
so far, the only thing ive accomplished is giving gief to my suitcase, and thinking of what not to think about. when an emotional surge to ring the family and ask how things are, i stop myself and think of the time i spend running the same questions and getting the same answers. whevever an urge to check on the news and think of whatever fund-raising adrian needs to join (dont ask, he needs to be giving to the world too), i lecture myself that the world doesnt stop revolving without my input. and the last time i ranted to adrian how president Mugabe is just killing zimbabwe's future, adrian gave me a stern look to warn me that he is busy arranging things for our flight and has no time for my long winded discussion on African politics.
i give up. if i have to be selfish and unconcerned, then so be it. id not think of silly, mundane and trivial things once and for all, for the sake of adrian's sanity and mine.
im not halfway done packing,yet im blogging about my thoughts im not supposed to be taking heed to. how does a leopard change its spot, i ask you?
one of the cobbly corners in cambridge town centre...
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"sometimes, it is not about where you end up..
its how you got there that matters."
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i spent the entire day at cambridge yesterday (saturday, 5th of july).
half of it, buying stuff for my philippines trip, the afternoon spent at a lecture room, and the rest of the day, at the town taking pictures.
although i have been quite a number of times before, it was the first time i felt my day was overexhausted due to the series of events that made up my day.
as the morning was quite rainy, i spent the day in the shops and buying myself some decent frocks for my trip, and a lonesome lunch a pret-a-manger. around half one, i was getting bored and my funds exhausted, i went back to the centre where adrian was in a session, and stayed in the carpark, chatting to my cousin joan and my sister ana via my mobile phone.
around 2-ish, adrian rang me and asked me to attend the other half of their session as the lady in charge was agreeable to the idea of having outsiders in (meaning moi,haha). he was surprised that i was already in the carpark using up my mobile minutes.
the eureka moment came to me, when i was handed the itinerary and saw the rest of their session. there were different invited speakers for the day, and the programme said there was a talk about robotics, after that, a brilliant statistician was explaining his hypotheses of proving that through his mathematical formula, he could prove that certain past authors use a certain pattern in writing, and the last bit of the session was THE USE OF ADOBE PHOTOSHOP IN DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPY. adrian knew me too well, that he wanted me to join in for the last part.
the professor who talked about Alice in Wonderland author Carol Lewis was a brilliant mathematician said Lewis solved a mathematical equation at the age of 14 which until now is a difficult one to solve for his peers. that professor was fascinating beyond words and exuded such charisma as a speaker. he himself is a doctor/professor in maths in the kings university,cambridge. the man who invented and designed the beagle 2 (the recent mars exploration) was there too, and spoke to the group of 14 people, me included.
the only downside thing was the talk about digital photography and adobe photoshop. they were not there to teach techniques nor rave about the functions of adobe, instead, they were there to talk about how adobe photoshop was essential to digital photography, even to non-professionals. it was more academic based and commercial based as they were promotiing their digital photography courses in the university. the only upside was the array of beautiful photographs that the two lecturers took themselves. they are practising professionals albeit a little bit old school.
after the afternoon of lectures, adrian and i sampled a mediterrenean restaurant, which featured lamb dishes as their main star, only to be told that their lamb dishes were scarce that day, as only one dish is available. if i wasnt hungry and too exhausted, i would have asked to move to a different restaurant. but with a heavy camera, a light head, and a grumbling stomach, i opted for a chicken dish, and their hummos.
a coffee at costa, and a walk around the town centre capped off our day. the half and hour drive home was great because even if it was 6:45 pm when we hit the road, the sun was still out and in full glory.
craig david does my head in. he still does, after 8 bloody years.
i remember year 2000, tear-stained, chest aching, and cursing under my breath on a human being who just broke my heart that very day, i played a craig david song requested by some random listener at the radio station i worked in. it was a toss between "rendezvous" and "seven days" as she couldnt decide, i accidentally (and cheekily) played the "walking away" track (which wasnt that bad, i must admit). and dammit, i was bowling my eyes out to a hip-pop track.
weeks after semi- recovering from heartbreak and trauma, i banned craig david from the playlist (or pop out to the loo while he was playing), and shudder while i back-announced the dedications.
tonight, while im reviewing songs my stepson has kindly upoaded on my ipod for my travelling (he kindly put songs he thought would suit me). amongst the 7 albums he downloaded for me, i found an album called "the story goes" from craig david. i mustered the courage not to make a face (but sadly failed) and while i was playing trollop in the web for some updates and reading emails. i listened to it, sans the tears, sans the cursing, although the heavy chest resurfaced as i remembered what a stupid fool i was.
by the time i reached the song"unbelievable" i was liberated.
yes, craig and i have made our peace, at last.
* * *
here's unbelievable for those who dont know what the hell i am referring to.
* * *
if you care to know what the 7 albums mark has downloaded for me (judging on how he knows me), here's the list:
but it didnt dampen my spirit. i was there to collect a gift from my husband, at a quaint little shop called Greys of Westminster. lucky for me, i know what that shop is about: its a Nikon specialty shop. and unlucky for me, Adrian was at work.
so on my own, with my heavy handbag, an umbrella, and the heavy package from the shop, i came out feeling exhilirated and so at awe with the shop/the owners and the gadgets in there.
i looked at the package which seemed bursting at the seams, i had to quickly buy a bag from Marks and Spencers to put the bag in and carry the whole lot.
i still cant get over the fact, i got my dream lens: a Nikon 70-200mm f2.8 G AF-S VR IF ED Lens !!!! *pinching myself*
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so i tried the lens at home.
but not before stopping by victoria court and grabbed some "pasalubong" for Ading who loves cornish pasties. i also stopped at starbucks for some iced latte (it was rainy yet humid, i was sweating undeneath my cardigan).
Adrian was there waiting eagerly for me, back home from his class. he was as excited as i was with the lens.
upon trying the lens, i was astonished. the weight alone is 3x the weight of my camera (it felt like it). and the versatitilty and results are really great.
my only problem is how to carry it over to the Philippines as already, my hand luggage is over the limit.
back to the lens: its been highly praised by photography circles and one of the most sought-after lenses. we had to order a gray coloured one as the black ones are always out of stock, and you'd be put on the waiting list when you order (which is no good for me as im travelling next week). not only do i have to work with a different coloured one, it was much more expensive than the black one too!. (no wonder the black ones are always out of stock, £200 difference is such a big gap).
so, since this lens will be the most expensive lens i will ever own in my life. It is also the best in the range of 70-200mm range. photographers highly recommend it. it takes superb shots and at big aperture (f2.8) thus i am obliged to give it a beautiful name worthy of its craft.
so im calling her "ai"--the master, the top of its class, the excellent performer not to mention,very much sought after. it also means love. its pronounced as "eye" (which this lens will be my D200's eyes in most shoots) and nothing will ever top this one. not that i can think of.
dont you think "ai" suits her best? not to mention the real "ai" has given me her blessing to use her name.
it rained heavily in london today. but under these circumstances, do you think i cared?
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cant wait to take photos again over the weekend!!=)
my bestfriend and cousin K said, "oh i forgot to greet adrian a "happy father's day" the last time. i forgot he is a father."
although adrian and i dont have an offspring, he is a dad after all. his sons from his previous marriage are great excuse to celebrate father's day every year and this year was even a bigger celebration. father's day fell on mark's birthday (his second son). paul (the eldest, who lives in manchester), rang adrian and greeted him over the phone.
a present from his sons
oh yeah, always plays up for the camera
the missus cuddles up beside the big bear
mark's birthday cake ---baked by moi (not!,lol)...
after picking mark up to celebrate at a restaurant in southend, we went back to mark's flat to slice his birthday cake after the big meal.
adrian also got his father's day present from Mark and Paul.
just a post to remember a lovely evening with the boys.
i was browsing through my 2005 holiday photos in the philippines and i found this. a picture i took of my cousin joan who got married that time.
the photo was was so under exposed and was so cluttered in the background that i had to do some "cleaning up"..not perfectly done, but looking at joan's face, and her love for sean, for me, its more than perfect=)
timely too as she's celebrating her birthday today!!! =) (25th of june)
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happy birthday jo!!! (and advance happy anniversary to you and sean=)
(a japanese couple having their picture taken by the telectroscope,while on the other side of the planet, new york looks on to see tower bridge,in london)
sometimes i wish, i can just teleport to the other side of the world, where my family is, and where my friends are.
i miss the chats i have with those bunch, and not to mention mama's cooking, that'll be my nightly feast (beat's london restaurants anytime).
the benefits of teleporting is that i could bring some love ones over here willy nilly, and they can go back whenever they feel like it.
surely, id bring ana here to my favourite hairdresser, mama to try and cook and be queen in my kitchen (she can be queen anytime!), my brothers to watch football games with mark and ades, my friends to come and take photos with me, kharla to come and shop here, and even nang conching even for two days a week to do my cleaning,lol.
id go to cebu for my dimsum treats at ding qua qua or harbor city, my lechon feasts, my massage treatments and most esp, just for some hug top-ups from love ones i miss.
but sad to say, teleporting is not possible yet.
for the meantime, i'll just ask cathay pacific to do it the old fashioned way on the 11th of july, heathrow to mactan international airport.
every day, i have been giving away bags and bags of strawberries to friends and colleagues. adrian's garden's strawberry patch has finally blossomed and it seems to be the time when his strawberries are going overdrive in fruitbearing. we just cant keep up!
im so happy, as it keeps my husband happy that his labour are in fruitbearing mode.
i sometimes think i wish my family and friends live near me, so that i could just give away some to you guys.
strawberries are great to pair with vanilla ice cream, made into smoothies, to salads, and into a fruit punch..or simply on its own!=)
so if you happen to drop by, you might end up with a bag for yourself=)
